Claire's story

我真的真的好想发泄 感觉自己快要崩溃了 我的头脑 像恶魔  我的心 像天使 我的头脑告诉我离开 我的心却告诉我留下 到底我该怎么做 我还是那么的爱 爱得感觉疯了 可是爱着一个已经变得不像从前的那一个 付出得再多 只会觉得自己很傻 而他只是一直在享受着我的付出 我要求的不多 只想要时间和关心 没有人24/7都在忙 只是看他有没有那个心 他根本没那个心  付出了全部我都不在意 只希望我可以得到一丁点的安全感 就因为之前我stalk你的脸书过后 发现你在其他女生的照片下留言 你就block我 直到现在 如果你考虑过我的感受 你不会那么做 更不会选择block我 我是蠢到被block了 还在付出 我已经选择离开了很多次 可是就抵不过我的心 每次就因为他的一封信息 我心软了 前几个月你还对我说 当朋友先 我那时还试着去挽留 可是没用 当我真的往前走的时候 你又回来了  分分合合的 我好累 还有现在的你 想要和我在一起 可是就从来不上传任何照片 就感觉把我藏起来私用 想让其他人以为你单身 其实我没那个必要去委屈自己 浪费自己的时间  I'M SO SICK OF THAT SAME OLD LOVE  THAT SHIT IT TEARS ME UP.

In fact, everyone will have a growing experience, it gives you makes you mature and grow.  Before I think love is very simple, just love each other, can meet each other everyday, happy with each other is enough.  In fact, after my graduation, I think love is the real test. Perhaps I'm not used. A relationship that until now, there is really a lot of bickering, could not bear to let, unsuitable,  childish behavior. And, I really thought the relationship was completely over, but this relationship has been maintained until now.  Sometimes occasionally watch movies, occasionally eat dinner, so it may be very complex. But, this also explains the existence of each other's feeling.  During that time I've tried to forget, forgive, give up, let him go. Yes, I was successful.  Sometimes I wonder why not together, But he still will contact me.  Sometimes really an...

我好迷茫 其实我应该要知道 一段感情的开始 始终会有结束的一天 可是我真的不明白 为什么一句的不适合 就把它给结束 这对我来说公平吗？  我真的很尽力的去挽回了 是每天 不是敷衍我 就是已读不回 每天一直在提醒着我 我们是朋友 你觉得这伤吗？ 在起初 我们在线上游戏里认识 那时的你 只知道要认识我 要和我聊天 我有告诉过你 我是个怎样的人 你就是不理 难道到手了的就不用被珍惜 就要放上期限吗？ 世界上没有说适不适合的两个人 我愿意去包容 去容忍 只为你 因为我不想浪费我们还能相爱的时间 时间过了就没了 算了 从头到尾你只是觉得我烦得像妈妈那样 你那么向往自由 我让你走 真的该放弃了 不要再那么愚蠢 求着出街看戏什么的 爱你浪费时间 恨你浪费眼泪 我只是需要时间 不要再来打扰了。

今天下午  我在刘蝶广场外遇见了一个人 一个曾经与我有过两年回忆的人 觉得他还是没变过 一眼就认出了 说实在的 当我看见他时 我的第一个反应就是转身 就只想躲着 对不起 我没和你打招呼 因为我不想出现在你的面前 让你看见我 或许你已经不在乎了  可是还是不让你看见比较好 一看见你 就想起了以前的回忆 就只想说 对不起 以前那么的对你 也很谢谢你以前对我的好 我都会记得的 一转眼就接近两年了 现在看见那么健康  开心的你  那就好 我们都有各自的生活 就加油吧

This year is 2015, Year of the Goat. I have entered another stage of life, 21 years old, no longer young. Over the years, I grew a lot, whether at work or in love. Really hope I can become more and more mature. . Chor 1, My selfie... v  the same as in previous years, we went to my grandmother's house. Every year my grandmother will cook vegetarian dishes for us, super delicious! My grandmother <3 See ma father and mother, they act cute! xD Ma sister and me, After that, we went to a relative's house. Chor 2, We went to relative's house again, collect angpaos...  My ootd... Total of the angpao I get in these two days. I spend my night with my family.. We went to Pearl Point there, Restaurant Pat Kin Pat Sun. My dinner, Thai Style Fried Chicken Chop.. How time flies, today is Chor 6, two more days..... have to start work.  D:

I still not mature enough yet?  Everyday I have to live unhappy, I have tried to suppress my own immaturity, Are learning to put myself forward to become more mature. But failed, you told me you would with me through this phrase, thank you! But my heart tears everyday, that is not your fault, is my own problem . That feeling.. I really choose to give up a lot of times, This is the only time of heartache until I despair. Today he started his new job, The work seems to be even busier than before, Saturday and Sunday have to work, Naturally you have no time to accompany me.. Hope I can used to it faster. His new job is have to take care of promoters, don't know why I'm jealous I'm emo haiz... Don't want to care already. Today you told me Tuesday we cannot celebrate our first anniversary, I was really disappointed. You too mature, inconsiderate and stubborn, what I said to you you won...

Sometimes I really don't like myself, still stuck in the past. In the past, he will Skype with me so long, until like 4am morning still don't feel like want off. He will always find topics to talk with me, look at me. But now, because he play game when we Skype, and nothing to say, so I feel like he changed. Everyday I have been looking forward to... Skype with him at night. I think because I care too much, I will emo and get hurt. 10/9/14, This day was a nightmare.. This day we are in the fight all day long.. He told me he went to Sunway Lagoon, after that until night didn't send me message at all. Yeah you're not my dog, no need report report report, because I worried about you, want to know what you doing.. After this, I think about us. We are not suitable, you're too mature for me, you can be independent, but for me im not. I am that kind of girl who will dependent on you, always want you...

Tuesday (19/8) 1am,  you leave Malaysia, went to South Korea.. Attended The World Taekwondo Hanmadang 2014.. Until Monday (25/8) come back Malaysia.. 1 week is so long for me, When the first and second day we still can Whatsapp,  because there have wifi.. But started from third day, he started busy, always at outdoor, he so pity so tired... I can wait for you come back to me.. But recently I'm so stress, about the driving final test..  At next week Wednesday.. Lack of confidence, afraid will fail.. Then need to pay again and again... I keep thinking everyday, headache.. I really hope someone can stay with me, talk with me... And today is Friday, T.G.I.F? No feeling.. because without you... Saturday.. Sunday.. same.. In these two days, I will miss you so so much, Cause everytime we go dating in these two days.. This picture was last week Saturday we took together one.. Th...

Have to admit that our lives have changed, You now have to work so I can no longer rely on you. But easier said than done.  Today is the third day you go to work I'm still not used to, You work from morning to night,  we only have three hours of chat time. Recently, a few days vacation and I feel like want spend it with you, but your work finish at night, I am not willing to let you be so tired, so I choose not to. I know I'm selfish, always wanted you to accompany me to chat, dating with me. Life without you, I lost the meaning of life. Everyday play game, repeat and repeat... Now I think single more happy than in relationship. Since I'm in love, I become very irritable. Jealous, quarrel... a lot of things happen. Sometimes cry until fall asleep, sometimes very angry,  and the same problem occurs repeated.  I'm really tired in love, I'm not tried to control you, I just don't ...

Recently have no time to update my blog, to put it bluntly is lazy. Two consecutive weeks are busy, last last week Friday was Jewelry Exhibition started, until Monday ended. Last Friday was Baby Exhibition, Friday until Sunday, be a cashier, and need to stand whole day. :x Finally this week can rest, honestly one moth didn't go to tuition center teach,  now feel like don't want to go, have some strange feeling. Yesterday went to his home to see his cat, so cute. And chat with his two younger sisters. Opps, forget to take pictures with them :x He so busy playing his game in the room :( In fact, he did not know I was bored :/ I will not like someone, don't want disturb him when he was playing game <3 His sisters so nice, give me a lot of candy. After 5pm, we went to Subang there, he have taekwondo class. He so pro, can punch the two woods in same time. So strong my man <3 So...

Today went out with Raymond, he said after today he will very busy... :/ Then we went to Mid Valley around 4pm, he came my house fetch me. When we reach there, we go buy movie tickets.. After buy movie tickets, we go eat Snowflake, feel like long time no eat already.. :3 He ordered one, and get 1 free because the card full chop le... After eat, then he go buy a burger, I go buy popcorn and drinks. We watched " In The Dark ", Ghost movie. Scaryyyyyy.... After watched movie, we went to arcade... Looked at him play the racing game. He met his friend at there, he fetch his friend went to bangsar lrt station. Then we went to Pizza Hut, our dinner.... :3  Time around 10:30pm then he fetch me back home.. Had a nice day..... :3

I did not work this Saturday, so today I went out with Raymond, celebrate my belated birthday :) I like to go out on Saturday, because after Saturday still can rest on Sunday :3 Today he came my house fetch me at 12pm, then we went to Bangsar there, he bring me go Dip n Dip... Nice chocolate.. delicious :3 After eat, then we went to McDonald's to have our lunch xD I eat Mc Chicken, so fullllll... :x He bought a pair of couple key chain... This one is my one... :3 Today he have taekwondo class, we reached there time was late, around 6pm. Then I wait for him at outside, so boring so I take picture... :3 My man so man <3 haha... After he bath then we went to Sunway Pyramid. Someone want to eat sushi ,  so we went to Sakae Sushi.... :3 \ After eat we walked around, then back home.. Feel like want spend more time with dear, DON'T WANT BACK HOME.... :/

Today is Friday, my birthday.. ;) Very good, because there is no work tomorrow :3 I can go out with with Raymond... Celebrate my birthday :3 So sad too, so much argued, I know his feeling, but I also have my thoughts. Although you said a few times, I will not change my mind. So sorry, I can't do it :/ Just now after work was raining, we went to The Baker's Cottage buy cake.. After discount, the price was RM62.. Then went to Sri Petaling lrt station fetch my brother, traffic jam and brother still haven't reach, waiting waiting and waiting.... After that, my mother go buy dinner, waiting waiting and waiting.... In addiction, family argued, feel like no birthday mood, headache also... Until just now night, my dear came my house and give me birthday present. So surprise... so touched.... I cried ...... We talked a lot in the car ... My gifts... <3 Birthday card... ...

Today we went out around 4pm, he said he want go out study... We went to Starbucks at Bangsar Village, there was very quiet.. At there, I play my phone, He prepared his quiz. Selfieeeeee... because I was bored... :x Our hands... Black and White.... xD Time almost like 7pm, we eat our dinner at Delicious. His food, sho nice :3 My food. Arh.... Feel like want try to eat beef, but the taste........ I vowed not to eat beef again... :x But the wedges so nice la :3 After eat, we walked to Dip n Dip, so many people there, so we didn't eat.. Feel so regret now :x Reach home almost 12am....  After bath then go sleep...  Ok... Is time to stop lo.. :3